Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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