Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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