No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i will never coherently bang her
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
