I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
