I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
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becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
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And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize