I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize