I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
