I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
