i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
