my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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