38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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