I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
