It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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