I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Someone came in the potted fern
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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