My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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