just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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