I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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