that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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