i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
i out mim tonsoeep
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