tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
