gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
