I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
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