the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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