And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
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Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
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We don't watch enough power rangers
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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