I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize
