My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
