Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize