He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
