Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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