I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
