So drunk, too bad you don't want this
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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