East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I can't turn off my feet"
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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