Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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