My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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