your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize