as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
