We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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