Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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