i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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