is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
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I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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