These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize