i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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