i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
