just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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