Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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