at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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