I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
