I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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