Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
