Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
