Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
We got so high we made milksteak
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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