I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
