that's an acceptable place to lick
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
