Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
