I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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