You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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