once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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