when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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