great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
