Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
