I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Randomize
