once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
