I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
