What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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