I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize