Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
