Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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